I want to live...
i get so tired; tired of the fight, tired of the struggle. I want to rage against all the injustices of the world.
I want to create again.. i want to feel like i can..
I miss the rainbow that was my life. the sights and sounds and smells and beautiful colors that were once my life cooking, flowers, the garden, Gavin, John....so much has changed.
My world has turned gray lonely and dead.. like a life full of winters with no hope of spring.
the saddest of all that i am surrounded by people and no one gets it. no one understands that i am rotting from the inside out.. turned gray and lost in the ocean.... the insides so pain filled and sad. the outside pretending to be someone i am not.. happy positive and upbeat...
will i ever have color again?
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
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1 comment:
Aw, so sad! I know you wrote this quite a few months ago, and I really hope you are feeling better now! I do know how it feels to feel exactly like that ((hugs))
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